so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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