It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
