she woke up with a sticky ear
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
