oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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