she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
