it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
