Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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