As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
