mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
