I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
