North Korea, Best Korea!
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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