I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize