so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
