oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
