Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
