i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
