I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
