so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
