What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
