We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
