i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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