I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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