I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I think people are normalizing furries
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
