my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
