i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
