I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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