I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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