they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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