I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
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