I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
