margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
