Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
