Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
