I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
