were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
