he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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