i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
