We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
