Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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