with your own penis?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
When are your genitals available?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
