how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
