i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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