Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
