You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
