i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
