if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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