we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
