My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
