But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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