I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
